Wednesday, September 29, 2010

There is hardly anything called as a bad experience.

Life is full of experiences. Sometimes we have bad experiences, some times we have good experiences and most of the times we have just experiences which are neither good nor bad. Those are experiences which do not matter or they do not bother us at all. I call these experiences as neutral. As neutral experiences do not matter, I do not have anything to write about them. When I had started to think about personal experiences, I started off with word ‘Bad’. I preferred bad experience to good experience. I am still not able to figure out why the idea of choosing bad experience first nonplussed me. For a moment I felt a bit cynical too. May be because ‘B’ comes first in alphabets, I chose Bad over Good. May be word bad is shorter or may be there was no reason at all. But the answer laid somewhere else.
I had stopped thinking about the bad and good riddle and moved on with the experiences of my life. I started thinking about bad experiences. I thought my mind would suddenly flood with lots of negative experiences, but surprisingly I was able to recollect very few of them. I thought about the experience of my school days when I had gotten little less than 50 % on my score card. I thought about the experience of getting caught for watching a movie in the official college hours that I had never seen. As I had not gotten parking, I had parked my bike in a theatre which was adjacent to the theatre where I was watching Tuze Meri kasam, starring local boy Riteish and apparently somebody reported that my bike was found in the theatre which was showing Adult film, this whole thing had created a big drama, somehow I managed to escaped from it. Then I thought about experiences of hurting my closed ones and I thought about recent experience when I came to know that things you confide to your close friends do not matter to them at all. But after stressing my cerebral cortex for long time, I was able to think of very few bad experiences. I had stopped there for a moment and asked myself, are these really bad experiences ? Do I really feel bad about them ? Do I still repent about them ? In almost all the cases my answer was negative. No wait, it was a firm NO and then i realized that these experiences are not bad at all, may be they were when they took place, but not any more. They have turned into the experiences which do not matter to me, eventually they have turned into neutral experiences. For a moment I’d frowned, I thought of all those good experiences I had in my life. I thought of all those small moments I had cherished throughout my life. I did not want my good experiences to turn out the same way. I wanted them to matter to me forever. I wanted them to be long living. With this thought I strolled towards good experiences.
These are the experiences which matter to every human being under this sky. Experiences which make you happy, experiences which make you laugh when nobody is around, experiences which make your gloomy office commutation beatiful and bright. Experiences which shape you and define what you are today. Over the time these experiences are preserved and nurtured in terms of memories.
Memories such as, watching TV, cuddling yourself on your Dad’s stomach and telling him with a bit of concern, “Pappa, tumachya potatun awaaz yet aahe” (“Pappa, i can hear some weird sound from your stomach”) and within few minutes felling asleep, next thing your see with your bare eyes was a bright shiny new day and now realizing, that was the coziest place you have ever been too and that was the best nap you have ever had and you will ever have in your life. Memories such as, you pettily complain to your Dad for not buying a new cricket bat for you and your dad, without getting mad at you, assuring you, “This is month end beta, I will get you a new bat, better than what you are thinking now, but give me one more week” but you would not give up on the bat and by hook or crook your dad would get you a new bat and as promised better than what you were thinking. All these hurdle, just to see the angelic smile on your face and twinkling star in your eyes. Memories such as, your dad comes home with a new pair of expensive clothes & asks you to put his threadbare shirt on hanger and you suggest your dad,”Pappa, let’s get one pair for you too naa ! ! Your shirt looks very old now”. With a feeling of aback and bit of proud, your dad  says, “I do not need one, I am happy with what I have. And any way nobody looks at me now, This is your time”. Memories such as, listening to your childhood stories from your mother. Memories such as, lying on hospital bed and eagerly waiting for your mom to come and meet you, in the mean time making up your mind that at any cost you are not going to cry, and the moment you see your mom, breaking the barrage of tears which you had held for more than 60 hours. Memories such as, with cherubic expressions, your partner says, “perhaps the fault is mine, I am not the best thing that has ever happened to you” and you smiling at her foolish and innocent madness ensuring her, “if you think you are are not the best, then I do not want to know what is better than the best”. Memories such as, holding hands of your love  & realizing that your body temperature has shot up more than mercury can ever reach. Memories such as, coffee at 1 A.M with the people you love the most. Memories such ................. ! ! ! !
The list was endless, it was unstoppable. And by now I realized that bad experiences come and go like small stations in a long train journey, but what remain with you are the junctions, where train halts for sometime and you get out and spend beautiful moments of your life. These junctions are nothing but bouquets of good, happy, joyous experience. Unlike neutral experience, which are effect-less, you savour those for rest of your life.

Friday, June 18, 2010

The google has done it again... Impressed me...

      I was sending a mail to my friend and I was supposed to attach a document.
Because of negligence I had forgotten to attach the document. But in body of the mail, I had written one line "I am attaching the document with this mail..... blah blah blah and I clicked on the send button immediately one dialog box popped up,

did you mean to attach files ? You wrote "I am attaching" in your message, but there are no files attached. Send anyway ?



     When I had checked the attachments, actually I had forgotten to attach the document.
Once again, Google has proved that they have made one of the finest products under this sky.
Hats off to Google ! ! !

One more thought stuck my mind, Google is reading my mails. I should be more careful while sending from now on. :-D

Monday, June 14, 2010

The old Adam

            This weekend I had watched a movie named Adam,  I came to know that the movie is based on a character who sufferes from Asperger's syndrome, recently in India similar movie, My Name is Khan, hit the halls and it did not take much time to hit the roads too. As I was very skeptical about the Adam movie and I did not want to waste my time on a movie which can make my weekend worse, I decided to go by reviews so I had checked the reviews on imdb, they looked better. So decided to go ahead with the movie and pleasingly I have gotten another movie to add into my The Most Favorite Movies' list. I loved the movie. Movie was full of fun, some witty jokes, some sad moments and the end was sweet.

But two dialogues which drove my attention

"She is the only picture in my head. That picture can still stop me in broad day light, to make me curse myself for what stubbron fool I was" 
&
" Liars is all you gonna come across in this world, a man is got learn the difference between just plain liars and liars worth loving"

            I found these dialogues very much familiar. I don't have much to explain about these two things, and though none of them matters to me but I did not want these two beautiful lines to get lost, so I decided to put them on my blog.

           It is been very long I have not put anything new on blog. In fact, I have deleted some of my old posts too.
My friend had betted me that I will not be regular in posting and it looks like I have lost the bet.

But I really want to talk to this space more and more.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Life after 26/06

Life After college.

It is been almost 18 months @ IBM and we all have entered in a new year , I spent few minutes of my HIMYM time to think about what I have achieved in these months (Basically I don't have anything prolific to do at home so I spend most of my time doing these useless things). Initially I thought I will be done with this excercise till my TP starts, but when I started contemplating about it, it took hours to complete and in the mid of this meditation some surprising things shaded in and confronted me. Earlier I had done the same excercise when I was freshly came out of college and thought of my accomplishments, I must say I was in high spirits about my attainments and I had a shaded picture of myself which always stood besides me showing me a thumbs up, saying you nailed it bro. But the same image was jeering while standing in front of me. This ugly thought stuck to me when the list of things I lost superseded the list of things I achieved.
In the month of June'08 it was all win-win for me as I did complete my graduation satisfactorily, having TCS job in my pocket and made handsome money from the internship and then a long wait for the joining of TCS had started. No sooner had the idle phase started than I had given up sleeping for 12 hours and decided to do something meaningful which would kill my time. All the thoughts were circumducting: Studies, Job, Long trips etc. I mulled over this for a couple of weeks and chose to go with the job till the joining. I had applied to few BPOs and decided to take on some of the interviews. As soon as I reached the companies for the interview, second thoughts used to struck my mind. Just to kill the time you can't do something which is of no use to you. Amidst these thoughts I always made a point by going to the interviews, indirectly killing the time. [Target achieved] But those second thoughts actually
helped me to understand what I am supposed to do with my life, it gave me a complete new direction of thinking and I was zeroed on what to do with my life

[BPO Interviews: Achievement#1]
When I was done with the thought of what to do with life, the thought of being idle was killing me then one fine day my friend had asked me to apply for a job in IBM ISL, which I had gotten after couple of technical interviews then I had to make the toughest call of choosing one between three words abbrs, ISL - TCS. My brain was with ISL but heart always pushed me to brood over TCS, though I could not see, it was a Hobson's choice, I had to stay in Pune for various reasons. So finally I went with ISL.

[Hit the bull's-eye : Achievement#2]
and the actual life after college had started. The Professional life - The Dirty Job, which I had always been told as the clumsy part of life where everybody is ever ready to bamboozle the others. In all likelihood it turned out to be A Blessing In Disguise for me, here I met some new folks who have already imprinted their part in my life's story book, I met with one of the best friends of my life, I have learnt many new things which I never dreamt of, everyday I get to meet new people, I get to work on the new technologies which every engineer is meant to do. This company taught me to THINK. The best thing I have learnt at IBM is constantly ask yourself "Are you making a difference ?". This way of thinking has completely changed me as a person.

[IBM - Achievement#3]
When this IBM phase of my life was budding, till then I was always been accompanied with the best friend of my life who was there with me in thick and thin. Things always don't work out the way you want, but that irreversible loss had to happen. I have come a long way since then but as I said earlier it was irreversible, so I could not do much to make it better, but certainly that was the biggest loss of life.

[Loss # 1]
As the time never waits for anybody, life and we follow same footsteps. Earlier In schooling you were always with your friends sharing all of your best time. When it comes to friendship there were no formalities, you had never taken anything personally if your friend throws any rubbish at you but now everything is taken aback. Even a small cheezy joke tears your stance in your own group. When we never had mobiles with us, a single loud shout was enough to reach to your beloved ones but now with all the technology supporting you, there is no direct accessibility, every Monday mail threads will keep rolling to book the coming weekend. You will get an appointment of a Bhojpoori Superstar but friend's appointment, keep dreaming. Everybody is Dropping Like Flies in to this routine including me. But somewhere in the mind this thing stings, but as I said earlier life moves on, does not stop for anybody, This will also keep moving the way it is.

[Innocence in Friendship: Loss #2].
There are many important events happened in life, as an when they came and marked their apperance and went on. When I reconuted all the achievements and losses, figuratively speaking certainly number of achievements were more than the number of losses, but the losses happened are irrevocable, nothing under this sky will ever replace them in my life. They have their own prominent places in my life but I am happy with what I am.
I don't regret about my past, neither I feel bad about it. I always look forward to make things better.

My mind is still churning to write more things, but for now I will bid a GOOD BYE.